Redefining Failure
by Melissa Charlton
Well, another January has come and gone. Another set of goals written down, begun, and then set aside because life interrupted.
Many people simply stop writing down goals, because they don’t like seeing the written reminder of their failure. They decide that “resolutions don’t work” and instead just never make necessary changes.
I have a different tactic: Change the goal. Or change the method toward the goal. You’re allowed to change your mind, and if you forgot that also applies to your fitness, here’s your reminder.
Two years ago in January, I wanted to work on my cardiovascular fitness more, so I joined a local spin studio. They had a great set up: fun instructors, great atmosphere, a cancellation policy that kept me committed… I liked it! My feet did not. The spin shoes were too narrow, and my toes were going numb. I tried bigger shoes, but that caused blisters on my achilles from the shoes slipping around (and my toes still went numb). I considered investing in custom cycling shoes, but that rabbit hole was very expensive for a sport that I was still trying out.
So in February, I changed my mind. I still wanted to strengthen my heart, but I also realized I needed some variety. I joined a studio that had cardio classes with rowers and assault bikes, as well as equipment I could use for heavy lifting. (It can be hard to workout at the gym where you work, because work always interrupts) The goal itself didn’t go away, but it did evolve, and the methodology shifted to accommodate me more.
And here I am changing my mind again! Last fall, I asked Melanie to write me a program, because I was bored with my own and too busy to dig in and change it myself. Shortly after, life got extra complicated really fast, and I realized I needed to just schedule sessions with my staff.
Friends, I’m a trainer with 20 years of experience, and I’m letting someone else tell me what to do and when to do it. Because, right now, that’s the only way I’m going to keep going. My ego is a bit miffed, but my fitness and goals are not interrupted.
When I was 25, I would have considered all this a failure. I failed at spin class because my feet are too wide (of course I wouldn’t have thought the shoes were at fault, that’s not how I was conditioned). I failed at following a program because I’m not self-motivated enough to push through challenges. The younger version of me would have gone back to the couch to feel crappy about myself.
But at 50, I’ve learned that failure is just another experiment that shows me I need to try something else. In the gym, failure means two things: you pushed as hard as you could and left everything you had on the mat… or the move isn’t right and needs adjusting to fit your needs.With goals, it means the same thing. You tried, it worked and you’re exhausted; it didn’t work, and you discovered that you need to try a different method.
There is no failure, there are only tested limits and lessons learned. So what’s next? Let’s figure it out and get to work.
Melissa Charlton
Founder, NASM CPT, GGS Menopause Specialist
I am inspired by my mother, who gave it her all to give us a better life. Leaving a bad marriage but still needing to raise four children, my mom did everything she could to make ends meet. This meant learning new skills and working 16-hour days, constantly wearing herself down and pouring from an empty cup. She’s my hero, but she’s also my cautionary tale.
Now I'm a mother and a business owner, and I owe it to my son and my community to prioritize myself while I build a business that supports women just like her. I consider it my honor to teach you how to take better care of YOU. So you can be the leader your people need. Proper self-care makes it possible for you to give the best of you, rather than just the rest of you.