Why I Don’t Train For My Summer Body

By Melissa Charlton

Trigger Warning: Disordered Eating and Substance Abuse

You’ve heard all the tropes: “Summer bodies are made in the winter”. “Try these 6 moves to help you slim your waist and train for that summer body”, “It’s not too late! We can help you drop three inches in 6 weeks, just in time for summer!!!” Ignoring the fact that you cannot spot reduce to get a “snatched” waist, and that quick weight loss always, ALWAYS results in regaining the weight, let’s also just debunk the myth that there’s even such a thing as a “summer body”. Well, except if you have a body and it’s summer.

I want to acknowledge that this is a hard mental habit to break! I’ve had this disordered mindset most of my life, that I have to look great in a bikini, that I have to “look like a trainer”, that I “can’t get away with wearing that”, because I don’t have six pack abs, and my thighs are dimpled.

But then I remember: fitness companies profit when we believe the myth that we need to be smaller in order to be loved. And if we’re small and weak, we’re easier to overpower. Whoa, that got dark fast. But this is the patriarchy, it isn’t nice.

I had a time when I was deep into this harmful mindset. I look back at the summer I thought I looked my very best, and I was way too thin. Of course, there was chemical help. Yes, I was going to the gym every day. I was also dabbling in cocaine, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and was hardly eating. Not only was I engaging in unhealthy behavior, I also didn’t look good! Look at me in this photo. My head looks too big for my body, I had lost 2 cup sizes, and my new boyfriend worried that I was anemic! I was. He cooked for and fed me a lot, because he was worried about me. But boy, did the casting directors love me, and all my friends wanted to know my secret (cocaine, for reals).

I don’t talk about this much, because I think I have a lot of shame about that summer. I was a fraud. Yes, this was before my career as a personal trainer so I wasn’t false advertising. However, I was drinking excessive alcohol nightly, I was not eating, I was emotional and exhausted, and I eventually lost a job because my late night antics caused me to repeatedly oversleep and miss work. But everyone was so impressed because I’d lost so much weight. 

When society rewards dysfunctional behavior, it’s no wonder we’re all having cheat meals, and saying we’re “bad” because we’re eating high calorie foods or have an extra glass of wine. And that negative association with our food and wine makes us want it so much MORE!

We have got to stop this cycle. So commit with me. Not this summer. Eat enough food, so you can enjoy your life. Wear clothes that express your personality and make you feel like you. And ignore anyone who tells you that you need to eat clean, buckle down and just do it. No. The goal of the game is to STAY in the game, as long as possible and with as little pain as we can manage. 

Screw training for my summer body. I’m training for my 95 year old body. The one that will help me stay as independent as possible, and help me enjoy the end of my life. 

Melissa Charlton

Founder, NASM CPT, GGS Menopause Specialist

I am inspired by my mother, who gave it her all to give us a better life. Leaving a bad marriage but still needing to raise four children, my mom did everything she could to make ends meet. This meant learning new skills and working 16-hour days, constantly wearing herself down and pouring from an empty cup. She’s my hero, but she’s also my cautionary tale.

Now I'm a mother and a business owner, and I owe it to my son and my community to prioritize myself while I build a business that supports women just like her. I consider it my honor to teach you how to take better care of YOU. So you can be the leader your people need. Proper self-care makes it possible for you to give the best of you, rather than just the rest of you.